magic in the mundane
words: 2020-present | film photographs: february 2022
i write this post over various days, various years even. the piece shared at the end was written in 2020 and i have since had more words unfold to dive deeper into the beauty that is: magic in the mundane.
i once took my spirituality very seriously. seriously, in the sense that i would feel like i was doing something wrong if it didn’t look a certain way. focusing on adhering to the prescription of what was said by someone else, perform ritual this way, your devotion should look like this, in order to reach your “true self” you first need to go through x y and z. i became reliant on someone else telling me how to do things. putting so much stock into having some profound experience, holding onto this experience as evidence that i had reached a certain point of spiritual enlightenment that held me above others who hadn’t experienced that thing. it became this ego race of who could have the most magical, most profound experience to then be able to share with others to say, “see? look how magical i am, this thing happened to ME”.
then, something shifted. i found myself in a relationship that had me feeling tattered and torn most days. clarity would not come to me. i relied on my spiritual practices to find answers. answers would not come to me. instead of seeking profound enlightenment, i started seeking other things. peace, nourishment, rest, safety. my body stopped longing for these deep and intense experiences and instead wanted space and “simple” comforts. the nervous system, needing repair. i noticed i became more slack with my practices.
after i ended that relationship, i slipped into a state of restoration. i would come across how-to’s on making offerings, on venerating, on how to get the most out of a certain time of the season or day, etc. things that once drew me in enacted a whole body “no”. no longer feeling that urge to follow a prescription. no longer wanting to seek profound enlightenment. all my body wanted was to be held. to be held by hands, to be held by the earth, to witness the slow shiftings of the seasons, to watch the tree branches bob and weave with the wind. to allow my anger and tears to be witnessed and dried by the sun. to be present and know that is enough.
after experiencing a feeling of “not being enough” and finding myself in a state of hypervigilence in so many ways last year, i dropped it and let that all go. i released the grip. i opened my palms with no expectations and found myself sitting in this new space. my body, once held in clench was then given a chance to exhale. i dripped into expansion not knowing where to go and feeling so lost. not knowing what to do with myself in this new space. instead of seeking answers in spirituality, instead of seeking what to do next in devotional how-to’s, i found what i needed when i touched trees. i found what i needed when i made myself soup. i found what i needed when i planted a seed in the earth. when i kissed flower buds. when i closed my eyes under winter’s sun. when i danced alone in this home where, for the first time i live with no one else but myself. when i put my hands on wet clay. when i cleaned the floors. i found what i was looking for, what i needed. i stretched into this new found space with play and exploration.
i found ritual in the arms of loved ones, sharing words and wine. i found ritual in my morning coffee speckled with cardamom and cinnamon. i found ceremony in eating a meal shared with others at home. i found magic in the way the sun dances through shadow to create pattern, ever-shifting. i found magic in the blank space of potential on a wall. i found magic in watching the lilac buds open, then flourish, then dry all in a matter of a couple of months. i found magic in community. i found magic in snipping a flowering branch and putting it in a vase. i found magic in the dancing altar that is my body. i found my own way of magic.
when we move away from the prescribed way of performing magic, participating in spiritual doings, etc. then we make space for our imagination, for our interpretation. we zoom out of the prescribed and move into magic of things that may have been overlooked: the sight of a freshly woven spider web, the vibration of buzzing bee, the smell of sun-soaked earth sprinkled with sagebrush, with redwood, with pineapple weed. the list of step by step instructions are forgotten amidst the hopping from bud to bud, watching as the wild wood strawberries grow from seedling to leaves to flower to pink fruit. we take off the pressure of performing for onlookers, we delete the “am i doing this right??” we replace it with, “this feels good”… a softening into experience. an expansion into pleasure.
in my current iteration of self, i have shifted away from capitalizing my spirituality and seeking out others to tell me how to perform magic. and instead i have opened to the beauty of the mundane. i’m sure i will at some point be ready to dive back into the practices and teachings that i had attached to my identity. for now, i will continue to soak up the medicine that the elements offer so freely. their medicine that has held me so deeply in healing.
know that you are always held by spirit, you are always held in the divine and within the rich loam of the earth. i believe you do not need an elaborate altar, for your sweet body is the altar. each day you wake and are in witness to the elements, you are in devotion. each night you dream you are in connection. you are allowed to be soft and expand into your own imagination and interpretation of what spirituality looks and feels to you.
moral of the story is: bE pLaYfUl !!! dancing around, singing karaoke, painting your nails, eating a chocolate croissant, fucking up, learning something new, being awkward, cleaning your floors, stretching, making some delicious ass food, putting oil on your body, kissing flowers, listening to bird song, are all ways to connect to the divine. and you know what’s beautiful? you get to make up your own list, allowing your imagination to play.
what are some things that have been connecting you to the divine? what mundane magic medicine have you been drinking up lately?
i chose these photographs because they were taken on a morning much like many mornings: sipping warm coffee while writing my morning pages and being completely enamored by the light pouring into this home that i have found myself in. i had to pause and imprint this memory onto film.
October 26, 2020 may i embody the mother i honor the mother by honoring myself not just what comes in the as above but what lies in the so below our mother in the sky and our mother within the flesh of the earth also, remembering the divinity in the mundane cleaning as an act of blessing cooking as intention setting touching dough to hold hands with your ancestors putting bare skin to earth to honor the sacred with every inhale and exhale a marriage between Beloveds putting words down on paper to bring in spirit touching lips to fruit to call in the goddess herself blessing you with each bite blessing her with each bite honoring the mundane the routine as ritual the body, a sacred vessel the life, as ceremony for each cell is the culmination of all who came before each cell, a glance into the future of all that will come after let rose remind you there is divinity in the common -k.s.a.
with lots of love
xx
Thank you for this share. Lovely ideas.